The Hiccup Remedy
by Sherster6
Summary: Fluff alert! Fluff alert! Hermione gets assistance from an unlikely source when Ron is struck with the hiccups. RR!
1. More Butterbeer Please!

Disclaimer- yes, it's true; I do not own Harry Potter! No, in reality, this all belongs to J.K. Rowling, who is an absolute genius! I would also like to say: serious kudos to Mieke for helping me with this fic, and I would like to add that the excerp from Teen WitchWeekly is really from Teen People magazine! Well, I hope you all love this cute little fic and remember to read and review! :-)  
  
The Hiccup Remedy  
  
Chapter 1: More butterbeer please!  
  
The bell on the door to the Three Broomsticks tinkled as it was pushed open by Harry Potter. The sixteen-year-old wizard traipsed across the threshold and over to a nearby table, closely followed by his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, and Ginny Weasley. The four sat down and ordered butterbeers.  
  
"This definitely calls for celebration!" said Ron enthusiastically, grabbing his butterbeer in anticipation of toast.  
  
"Oh, Ron it's not like something that doesn't happen everyday! Slytherin has never beaten Gryffindor at Quidditch since we've been here," said Hermione knowingly.  
  
"But it's the first time I've beaten them!" exclaimed Ron vigorously.  
  
"Yeah come on Hermione get with the program!" said Ginny with a grin. "Its always a good thing when we beat Malfoy isn't it Harry?"  
  
"That's for sure! Did you see his face when I caught the snitch from right under his nose?! It was priceless!" Harry comfirmed raising his butterbeer to toast with Ron as Ron put his glass in the air.  
  
"Oh, I suppose it is," said Hermione raising her glass as well.  
  
"To victory!" said Ginny making her glass meet the others.  
  
"To victory!" chorused Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and all four teenagers took drinks from their respective glasses. They spent a few moments in silence chugging away at their butterbeer until Ron voiced his opinion.  
  
"Yeah, it was awesome.did you see me block that quaffle right at the end? I wasn't anywhere near it! Personally I think I'm improving."  
  
"Ron will you stop thinking about your own success?"complained Ginny. "We all worked together to win. But while we're having bragging sessions here, did you see how I scored that penalty shot when Katie got fouled?"  
  
"Don't be boasting about your success when you're yelling at me for it!" Ron protested.  
  
"Alright, you two, you can quit now. Ron, do you argue with every woman in your life?" Harry added, as he received looks from Ron and Hermione, and an appreciative chortle from Ginny.  
  
"Anyway," said Hermione, brushing the comment away, "congratulations to all of you. All three of you did quite well." She looked around at them acknowledgingly. Her eyes seemed to linger on Ron for a moment more than was necessary. However she quickly turned her attention to her butterbeer, taking another gulp. Ron drained his drink and ordered another. It wasn't too long before Ron had a collection of empty glasses piled up in front of him.  
  
"Don't you think you've had enough, Ron?" Hermione questioned, clearly concerned for his well being.  
  
"Didn't we say this was cause for celebration? Come on, Hermione, lighten up a little! It's not like this stuff is very strong, you know."  
  
"Oh, I suppose so," Hermione agreed after a moment of contemplation.  
  
"So," said Ginny, downing her third butterbeer, "our match against Hufflepuff should be interesting enough. I can't wait to shove it in Michael's face," she added with a malicious grin, soon turning into a slightly less evil expression.  
  
"And then we can beat Cho and the rest of them to win the Cup! Wow, this is going to be a fun year." Harry said trailing off in thought.  
  
"Can all you two think about is beating your exes?" Hermione asked, her eyes full of question as she looked at her friends with pity. "Why don't you both move on and forget about them? I mean." she finished, looking at Ron furtively.  
  
"Hey, I moved on, now didn't I? I went out with Dean for a bit. Granted, it didn't really work out for whatever reason." Ginny threw her older brother an angry look, clearly still mad at him for whatever he had said to Dean to make him dump her. Although Ron denied it, Ginny knew he had scared him away from dating her. The mere idea of Ginny dating anyone but Harry seemed to irrate him. She had definitely noticed that strange look Ron had given Harry on the Hogwart's Express at the end of the last year. At first, she hadn't realized what it was all about; but then, it hit her- Ron wanted her to go out with Harry! What was with that? Yes, she had had a crush on him for ages, but that was over when Michael had come into the picture. Or was it? Ginny shook her head to rid herself of that last thought, and took a drink of butterbeer, listening to Ron ramble on in denial of how he had ever said anything to Dean, just as Ginny suspected he would.  
  
"Anyway," Hermione interjected pointedly, clearly trying to turn the conversation away from this topic. "Ginny how are you doing in your classes so far this year? O.W.L. year for you, you know. If you ever need any help, you can always ask me," she ended with a smile. Harry and Ron choked back laughs, thankfully not seen by Hermione.  
  
"Thanks, Hermione," said Ginny, nearly bursting into hysterics herself.  
  
"Ok, just one more butterbeer and then I'll stop. Ok, Hermione?" Ron asked innocently, as Hermione shot him a look, showing her lack of amusement at this comment.  
  
"I suppose that's alright then," she agreed. Wow, she thought, I've been doing that a lot lately. Why do I keep agreeing with Ron? That's not like me at all. As Hermione took another drink of her butterbeer and pondered this thought, Ron's eighth butterbeer arrived at the table. He wasted no time in downing the entire thing. Hermione watched this in disgust, wondering where he put it all.  
  
"This is really great. We're all celebrating like this and the butterbeer is good and *hic*-," he finished, covering his mouth and looking surprised with himself. Hermione nearly choked on her butterbeer, and Harry and Ginny burst out laughing. "What- * hic*- is going on? I never - * hic*- get -*hic*- the hiccups!" The laughs proceeded from the other three at the table. Ron continued the hiccups loudly and attracted the attention of passersby.  
  
"Well what do you expect when you drink so much butterbeer so fast?" Hermione asked through her giggles.  
  
"No, you don't- *hic *- understand! The last- *hic *- time this happened, I had the hiccups - *hic *- for a whole week- *hic *- !" Ginny added in an exceptionally loud burst of laughter at the memory of this.  
  
"You have no idea!" she exclaimed to Harry and Hermione over the laughter. "We tried everything, but no stretch of magic could cure him! Poor thing just had to wait it out!" The three of them laughed even harder at this, while Ron scowled and kept hiccuping at inopportune moments.  
  
"Well, how about we all go to the library and look up newer remedies? There's bound to be something discovered for them since then." Hermione suggested through the chuckles around the table.  
  
"Ok, sure," Harry agreed.  
  
"Whatever helps- *hic * -. I'll try - *hic *- anything." Ron pronounced. And together, the four friends exited the inn to make their way back up to the castle, laughing whenever Ron hiccuped loudly. 


	2. The Search for a Cure

Chapter 2: The Search for a Cure  
  
Upon returning to the castle, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny set off to the library for some research. The only two people who were really "gung- ho" for a library trip were Ron and Hermione. Harry and Ginny felt their time was a bit better spent in any other place than the library, and really wouldn't have minded laughing at Ron for the remainder of his hiccuping episode. However, neither of them could help feeling a little sorry for the redheaded sixth year, and with Hermione's persistance at helping him, they didn't exactly have a choice in doing research.  
  
The four witches and wizards pulled numerous books off of the shelves, looking for anything that might concern hiccups.  
  
"Oh, ok, this could be something," Hermione said, skimming a rather thick book of remedies, "its says, 'The hiccups are caused by a muscle spasm occuring in the diaphragm. To relax the diaphragm and overcome the muscle spasm, take many deep, continued breaths.' Go ahead, Ron, try it. You never know, it just might work."  
  
"Well, I suppose- *hic *- I can try- *hic *-, but it didn't- *hic *- work that last time." hiccuped Ron, as the others attempted to suppress their giggles.  
  
"Come on, Ron, give it a shot," encouraged Harry.  
  
"Really, Ron, you don't know if things will have changed or not since then," Ginny agreed.  
  
"Ok. Here- *hic *- it goes," said Ron, finally taking a huge breath. He let it out slowly, and took another breath when it was gone. This continued for about thirty seconds before-  
  
*Hic*  
  
Ron's face immediately showed his disappointment, and his words confirmed it, "See? It's never- *hic *- going to help!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Ron," Hermione consoled, although looking just as put out over the sudden return of the hiccuping. "I guess we'll just have to keep looking for something."  
  
Over the next hour, the teenagers searched in book after book, usually coming across some useful information. While this was always promising, nothing seemed to help Ron. Every trick in the book, in every book actually, had been tried and nothing was going to cure him. Hermione casted a bubblehead charm on Ron to get him to breathe in his own carbon dioxide (apparently she was trying to substitute a paper bag). But it was a lost cause, just like everything else. Finally, Harry announced that he thought they should all head back up to the common room. The other three agreed, none too reluctantly, for Ron had been getting more and more disappointed with each fallen attempt. Even Hemione was looking hopeless, like her beloved library had failed her. As they trooped up the stairs toward Gryffindor Tower, Harry thought of something.  
  
"You know, they always say that you can scare the hiccups out of someone."  
  
"BOO!" Ginny yelled in Ron's face. Unfornately, he was so down about nothing working, Ron simply gave his sister a pathetic look and a hiccup for a reply. "Well, I tried," Ginny mumbled.  
  
"Maybe we can try that on him tomorrow," Harry reassured Ginny with a small smile. They all climbed into the portrait hole, just in time for a loud hiccup from Ron.  
  
******  
  
After a while of sitting around the fireplace in the common room, Ron's hiccups seemed to be just too much for most people to bear. Sure, at first, everyone made a huge joke out of it, but soon enough, reality set in for Seamus, Dean, and Neville, who realized they would be listening to the hiccups all night in their dormitory. Most people had gone to bed early, Ginny among them, and pretty soon, all but the trio had vanished. Hermione was still very put out by the failed search for a cure, so she attempted to put it out of mind with her studies. Harry and Ron tried to study, but Harry couldn't tune out Ron's hiccups, and poor Ron was just beside himself. Finally, when this became too much, the boys decided to call it a night.  
  
"I just hope that I- *hic *- sleep with my mouth shut," Ron said, turning on his heel and walking up the boys' staircase, Harry following closely behind.  
  
"Well, I doubt it." Hermione mumbled when they were gone, although she could still hear a few distant hiccups. She was all alone in the common room now, and was packing up her things to go to her own dormitory, when she saw the latest issue of the wizarding world's newest magazine Teen Witch Weekly sitting on a nearby table. Not knowing what may be in it of use or whom it might belong to, Hermione picked up the copy and flipped it open to a random page. She skimmed through a few stories- "How to Make your Eyes Shine, Literally". "Charm your Way into His Heart". "Make that Perfect Dinner for a Date". Wait! Something had caught her eye in a story called "20 Facts about Boys." It said- Random fact: Boys get bad bouts of hiccups more often than girls do. What this means to you: Ok, maybe it's not so random after all. If your crush gets a bad case, surprise him with a kiss! A surprise move is a popular home remedy, since it is believed to divert nerve activity to a different area.  
  
Hermione sat, stunned at the impact of the words she had just read. This was the answer. If Ron wasn't surprised by anything else, this just might do the trick. All she needed to do was kiss him. This was all too perfect! But she couldn't do that, could she? And what if other people were watching? No, Hermione wasn't the type to just waltz up to guy and start snogging him, let alone in front of a lot of people. However, under the circumstances.  
  
Hermione closed the magazine and set it back on the table where she had found it. She gathered her things once again and made her way towards the girls' staircase. Now that she had an idea, all she needed was a plan. Deciding not to think about it until the next day, she climbed the steps to her dormitory. 


	3. The Inopportune Moment

Chapter 3: The Inoppertune Moment  
  
Waking up the next morning, all Hermione could think about was her task that she knew she must complete that day. To let the hiccuping go on any longer would not only be cruel to Ron, but she'd have more time to think about it, therefore being more apt to chicken out. Kissing Ron. It was an interesting prospect. Not that she hadn't thought about it before; she'd actually been thinking about it more and more lately. However, thinking about it and really doing it were two completely different things altogether. It didn't help Hermione that she hadn't even kissed anyone before, so she wouldn't exactly know if she were doing it "right" or not. But Ron hadn't kissed anyone, either, to her knowledge. Hermione still wasn't fazed too much by this new thought. Her relationship with her friends was about to change; for the better or worse, she didn't know. And then there was yet another terrifying thought- what if she kissed Ron in mid-hiccup?  
  
Hermione didn't really have a good plan to speak of. It was more that she'd just pick an inoppertune moment to plant one on him. Another question popped into her mind at this realization- What if an inoppertune moment never arose? Then what? Hermione continued to put up with these constant questions bombarding her head, as she made her way downstairs to the common room for a Sunday she knew would be some adventure. Sitting in her usual chair in the common room, she sat reading an enormous textbook (light reading, of course) and waited for Harry and Ron to come down their staircase. Soon enough, they traipsed down to join her, Ron still hiccuping away.  
  
"Did you both sleep alright?" Hermione asked, a bit sarcasticly, but kindly all the same.  
  
"Oh wonderfully," said Ron, incredibly sarcasticly. "I laid there for- *hic *- hours on end just hiccuping my life away! I think I got a little sleep, but I didn't- *hic *- really notice." Ron sighed loudly and sat down next to Hermione, throwing out another hiccup in the process.  
  
"You're telling me," said Harry, falling down next to Ron. "I didn't sleep a whole lot either. All that hiccuping was getting to me, I reckon."  
  
"Oh, it- *hic *- was getting to you!"  
  
"Well, I'm sorry but it is the truth!"  
  
"Will you two stop it!" Hermione interjected. "I'm sorry I even asked." Wait a minute, thought Hermione, that was definitely an inopportune moment! Why hadn't she done something?! But really, it would be a little awkward to try it out sitting down, standing up would be ideal, so maybe it was good she hadn't acted at that moment. Oh my gosh, she thought, I'm thinking way too much about this.  
  
As the trio made its way down to breakfast in the Great Hall, however, Hermione continued to have random thoughts and questions shot in and out of her head. It just wouldn't stop, and all she wanted was to get it over with. But how could she do that without feeling like an idiot and being completely embarassed? Well, that was obviously still a kink to be worked out.  
  
Ron attempting to eat his meal was really something to behold. Every other bite he would nearly choke on his food, and picking up his drink was difficult to do without spilling some. This seemed to bring back a smirk to Harry's face, who just couldn't contain himself.  
  
"What are you- *hic *- laughing at?!" Ron hicked.  
  
"Nothing," said a histerical Harry, glancing sideways at his best friend, "I was just thinking how ridiculous you look with your juice spilled down your shirt." At this, Harry continued to chuckle on even harder until Ron gave him a furious, hiccup-free look.  
  
"Um.I think I'm going to go to the library now," said Hermione, who was being unusually quiet through all of this. Harry and Ron watched her leave in a hurry.  
  
"I wonder why she's going to the library already today," Harry commented.  
  
"Harry, it's Hermione. She- *hic *- probably has been waiting to go there since- *hic *- she woke up," Ron pointed out, rising from his seat.  
  
"True," Harry realized, getting up to head back up to the common room.  
  
******  
  
The truth was that Hermione couldn't take it. All the questions flinging around in her mind, waiting for that inopportune moment, thinking about the reactions of everyone involved, it was just too much. So she had taken refuge in the library. It always relaxed her to be there, amongst rows and rows of wonderful books. But today, it didn't seem to be doing the trick at all. They just seemed to make her feel less sure of herself. The books were full of such knowledge, so unlike herself at the moment.  
  
So soon enough, her plan to escape from it all seemed to foil, and she went back up to the common room to find Harry and Ron in a game of wizard chess. It was Hermione's turn to be unable to contain herself when she saw Ron's chess set pieces were laughing at him and his hiccups. Apparently, Harry was actually winning for a change due to Ron's pieces not hearing his directions clearly enough. When Hermione showed her humor at all of this, Ron couldn't go unheard.  
  
"Will you- *hic *- quit it?! This isn't funny- *hic *- at all!" But Hermione just had to laugh harder at this pronouncement, Harry joining in with her and Ron sulking.  
  
"Ron, just face facts: it's funny for other people even if it isn't funny for you," Hermione chortled.  
  
"Oh, really?" Ron asked, threateningly as he could with a hiccup.  
  
"Yeah, Ron."  
  
"Well, you could at least be a little- *hic *- sympathetic!" Ron began to rise from his seat.  
  
"I have been sympathetic! Couldn't you tell?!" Hermione got up from her chair as well to face Ron. This was her chance!  
  
"No, you know, I- *hic *- really couldn't! Maybe you tried to- *hic *- help me yesterday, but- *hic *- that doesn't mean you really cared! You love- *hic *- the library anyway!"  
  
"I can't believe you! You wouldn't know compassion if you fell over it!"  
  
"Oh, I- *hic *- wouldn't, now would-"  
  
But Ron didn't get to finish his sentence as Hermione had reached up and pulled him down to kiss him- a kiss that was, thankfully, hiccup-free. 


	4. In the Room of Requirement

Chapter 4: In the Room Requirement.  
  
The kiss was as wonderful as Hermione had imagined it would be. The absence of hiccups was definitely a reassuring thing, and neither of them was making any attempt to end the kiss. It seemed that this plan had not only achieved the initial result of ending the hicups, but it had also opened up a whole new plethera of other possiblities.  
  
Finally, the kiss ceased and Ron and Hermione stood looking at each other, completely breathless, without a lone hiccup to ruin the moment. Harry, however, sat in wide-eyed shock at the events that had just unfolded in front of him. Others in the common room who had been watching Ron and Hermione's argument, Ginny among them, displayed the same sort of expression as Harry. For a moment, no one dared to speak. No one did, in fact, until Hermione took off through the portrait hole, Ron following her without any hesitation. Once they were gone, the entire common room burst into speech, trying to fully understand what had happened. Harry and Ginny just looked at each other with a mixture of surprise and shock, unable to even put into words what they had just witnessed.  
  
Outside the common room, Hermione had taken off through the hallways, searching for a place where she could be alone with her thoughts. For as soon as she had looked into Ron's eyes, reality had struck her, realizing what she had just done right in the middle of the common room! Not that Ron's eyes had sent a message saying he didn't like it or anything, just that she suddenly understood the weight of the action she had taken.  
  
Hermione ended up at the Room of Requirement, the reason why was beyond her. She had run so fast through the hallways, she thought she must have lost Ron. After pacing back and forth past the door to the room several times, the handle appeared and she walked in. Inside was a big, comfortable bed with lots of fluffy pillows and shelves of books lined the walls. This cheered Hermione up a bit and she sat down on the bed, thinking intently.  
  
However, she didn't get much time to think about anything before the door opened and Ron walked in. Hermione gasped and at first neither of them could look each other in the eye. Then they both started in at once.  
  
"-I'm really sorry."  
  
"-So what was that about?"  
  
This was followed by a silence, both with puzzled expressions on their faces.  
  
"Wait," Ron stumbled, "what do you mean you're sorry?"  
  
"No, no, 'what was that about?' Hermione fired back, "What kind of a question is that? I was just getting rid of you hiccups for your information."  
  
"Oh," said Ron, looking down at his shoes, "so that was it and that's why you're sorry?"  
  
"Y- no, I mean I- er- yes, yes, definitely," Hermione finished, incredibly uncertainly.  
  
"Really?" Ron questioned, looking back up at her, "You don't seem too sure about that, you know.  
  
"Well, I am- not, I mean- oh will you stop it and just leave me alone now? I just kissed one of my best friends in front of the entire common room, and I'd prefer not to go back there just yet."  
  
Yeah, well, I was just kissed by one of my best friends in front of the entire common room, so I'd rather not go back at the moment either. But you know that you can tell everyone what you were doing, and it'll be fine." Ron seized this opportunity to sit down next to her on the bed.  
  
"But what I don't know is if everyone will believe me," Hermione replied.  
  
"Why wouldn't they belive you? They've all seen and heard me with the hiccups this weekend. As a matter of fact, I bet everyone would be thrilled to realize that because of what you did, those bloody hiccups are finally gone."  
  
"You're right, but- Ron?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I can't believe you!" said Hermione, after a big breath that carried out some frustration with it. It was at times like this that she didn't know what else to do but stike up an argument.  
  
Ron withdrew from her a bit, looking completely baffled by her sudden mood swing.  
  
"What are you talking about now? What can't you believe about me?"  
  
"Oh, nevermind, Ron, you're too thick to understand anyway," Hermione answered sourly.  
  
At this, Ron stood up quickly, looking draggers at Hermione. "I'm too thick to understand? Understand what, exactly? Anyway, you're the one who seems to be having so many problems all of a sudden!"  
  
"Well, if you had done what I just did, you would be having these problems, too!" Hermione shot, standing up to face Ron.  
  
"Okay, well, maybe I can't understand that, but you got yourself into it!"  
  
"This from the one who was just praising me for ridding him of hiccups?!"  
  
"I never praised you for it!" By now, Ron and Hermione were just inches from each other as Hermione plunged on.  
  
"Oh sure you didn't. Are you telling me you're sorry I kissed you?!"  
  
"Of course I'm not sorry!"  
  
"Well, then why don't you kiss me again, already?!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
And with that, Ron practically dived down to put his lips on Hermione's, not letting them leave for several minutes. Hermione's initial reaction was shock; she didn't think he'd really do it, and she had been caught up in the moment telling him to. But after that split second of surprise, she settled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Ron as he did likewise to her; it was clear that neither of them had the desire to pull away, and Hermione, for one, was thoroughly enjoying snogging her best friend.  
  
Unfortunately, though, the kiss eventually came to an end, as many good things do. But after this kiss, there was no sudden burst of reality setting in. Hermione had been completely aware of her actions, and she and Ron were the only people on Earth at the moment. Just as she started to think that she would have to write a letter of thanks to Teen Witch Weekly, Ron's voice flooded her mind.  
  
"Well, I'm not sorry for that at all," he said, grinning at her.  
  
"And neither am I," Hermione replied, also smiling. "Well, I'd hate to ruin this moment Ron, but what are we going to do now?"  
  
"Well," considered Ron, "I guess all we can do is just let it play out. Whatever happens will happen."  
  
Smiling even wider, Hermione said, "I know that, but I was talking about going back to the common room right now."  
  
"Oh, well, as to that, I'm sure they'll have to get used to it sometime anyway."  
  
"You're right, Ron," Hermione agreed, now positively beaming at him.  
  
"Well, then I reckon we should head back," Ron said, somewhat sadly.  
  
"I suppose so, but- Ron?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Before we go, will you kiss me again?" Hermione asked with a sweet smile.  
  
Ron grinned and obliged, pulling her close to him for yet another time. 


End file.
